Session: Unmatched: Battle of Legends, Volume Two:: An epic tale as told by Achilles

by tickbite

Here I am.

The sole survivor of a battle that spanned the world.

I have lived to tell the tale, which is something that I cannot say about some of my opponents. I had originally planned to write in my native Ancient Greek, but my close friend Patroclus recommended to me I write in English. “The language of the future”, he said. “More people will read your session report than if you wrote in Ancient Greek.”

“Δεν θα πουλήσω τον εαυτό μου στο πλήθος των Tik-Tok,” I responded. But as always it wasn’t long before I gave in to my good friend.

So here is what transpired:

Patroclus and I had gotten ourselves into a terrible feud with the grand African warrior, Yennenga, and some weird monkey king that I’ve not heard of before. We met in the center of the grandest of all contemporary (for me) cities: Babylon. I started a plan to surprise attack both when without a word or a second thought Patroclus charged ahead and killed one of Yennenga’s archers. I stayed back, unsure what to do. I wanted to talk with the monkey first, but it was too late. Patroclus had escalated the battle immediately and was head over heels (*snicker*) inside a fight that involved everyone but me. Patroclus charged Yennenga and pulled most off her weapons from her when suddenly the monkey arrived … in the form of an ox. We all just stared. Most of all, Yennenga, as she was hit with the equivalent of seven damage.

Had we all life points it would be something like 18 (me) to 17 (monkey) to 4 (Yennenga) within a matter of minutes. It looked much more one-sided than it was because the first casualty might have been a random archer or two, but the first heartbreak occurred when Patroclus stood before the arrow lady and bared his chest. He gave himself up. Just like this. I screamed, but to no avail.

Gone.


I dropped my spears and retreated to the highest point of the Hanging Gardens. And I cried.

Meanwhile, Yennenga displayed all her cunning and retreated to the other side of the city, the strategically best spot to mend her wounds, and make plans – on top of a bridge difficult to attack or even to corner.

Mad as I was, I charged the first enemy I saw, the golden monkey. I knew it wasn’t his fault that Patroclus had fallen, but it felt tactically smart, and also easier to pull off. He was right there. Or so I thought. As I attacked him, the sly monkey jumped around and disappeared. But then he was back. I didn’t know where to hit. But when my strike landed, the monkey just disappeared into thin air. A clone! What monstrous magic was I fighting here?


I escaped and then ran, ran until saw Yennenga who was crouching on the bridge, almost hidden from sight. My rage flared up and I swung at her, but she avoided me. I saw the monkey arriving from the other side of the bridge and when she attacked me (I want to say, like a wild animal) I shoved her into the arms of my simian opponent. Let him take her down. But that was when the tables were turned. He let her go, a big monkey smile on his monkey face. Yennenga took slow steps towards me. She was a master of the hunt and stood there like she just gained gained – what? Four actions in one turn? I braced myself for a terrible attack, but she just stormed at me like a Stallion. I was cast aside and hurt, but also surprised as she just rampaged off the bridge and disappeared into the farthest hills of the sloped city. She was able to recuperate a bit, while I lay in front of the bridge.

It was then that a shadow in the shape of a towering monkey king was thrown upon me. My rage had left me defenseless, and he first kicked me, Ruyi Jingo style, before again turning into the formidable ox. My heart broke nine times. I had nothing left but crawl into my hiding place near the peak.

Unfortunately, I wasn’t hidden for long. When I looked up, there was an archer and the warrior princess waiting for me not far away. I saw the monkey (or was it a clone?) arriving too. I received an arrow to the side but managed to thwart it. Then the clone took a big bite out of me, and I only barely managed to fight him off. Wounded and mentally shattered, I tried to escape, but it only worked for a moment. Another clone was after me and the archers were rushing towards me as well. Two against one, what chance had I left?


Then came the first of three turning points. In self-defense, I shoved the princess towards the monkey king, and – only for a moment – she had to tussle with him. The monkey was caught by surprise and was hurt badly. All three of us (not counting those dastard clones) were giving blood. Weak as I was, I could still win if they didn’t keep ganging up on me.

But they did. The monkey clone laughed as he did something impossible. It felt like I saw 72 transformations all at once. I didn’t know what to fight off – an ox, a tortoise or some bird?! Of course it was the ox that finally hit me, but this time I was prepared. I fought him off with nearly all my skills. I won the combat, but I didn’t have any defense left in me. That was when the second turning point arrived. For a moment I thought about escaping again but I was nearly exhausted. The monkey had retreated onto the bridge, that clever spot Yennenga had already used to her advantage. I had been driven quite far away by the clones and the monkey didn’t expect me to arrive as I did. But when I showed my face, he knew that my name was trouble. The transformations had given him immense power (the power of two oxes, I bet). But he had nothing to defend himself. I planned to test him for weaknesses before relentlessly assaulting him, but it didn’t even come to that. I broke him quickly. All that was left of him was a bit of golden fur.

It had come down to Yennenga versus Achilles.


She was hiding. A good plan. I saw her bow aimed at me as I openly walked down the bridge. Of course I would walk right into the Jaws of the Beast. Arrows rained down on me as I was standing on the most exposed spot in the city. It should have been my end, or nearly my end, but instead it was a feint. I had expected her plan and raised my shield just in time. When she aimed at me again, I took an arrow to the side, but – blessed by Hermes– I was able to catapult myself right in front of her. She had only four heartbeats left in her chest. She gasped.

I ended the game with two spear throws, 2 damage each, that were impossible to defend.

Then I slumped to the ground and wept for my beloved. And all I carried with me from that day was the recollection of an epic battle. A battle of legends.